Updated: Feb 25, 2020
By Hagit Segal
A couple months ago my daughter Gal spilled water on her little table and floor around it. I was standing close to her and she looked at me and put her hands on her mouth with a worried look in her beautiful eyes.
My heart broke into a million pieces at that moment, because I knew that she wasn’t worried about spilling water, she was worried about my reaction. I couldn’t remember previous incidents, but when looking at her face I knew that I must have reacted negatively to a similar MISTAKE in the past.
I felt bad for a few seconds and then I thought of my wonderful friend Ifat Matzner-Herooti. Ifat is an incredible parents’ instructor, and she talks about treating our mistakes with love and compassion in order to allow us to have the same feeling towards our children.I took a deep breath and told Gal “it’s ok, it was just a mistake. Let’s clean it together.” Gal was slightly surprised, but then she smiled, took a cloth and helped me clean. We both felt better and kept playing together.
I promised myself that I would never react with anger or disappointment when Gal makes mistakes again. I didn’t keep that promise, but I truly try to control my responses over silly mistakes.I want Gal to know that it’s ok to make mistakes and I want her to feel comfortable to talk to me in the future when she makes mistakes. I want to be my daughter’s safe place, so I have to teach her that IT'S OK TO MAKE MISTAKES.